[Duke looks back at Stephen, meeting his eyes; he sighs deeply and takes a swig of his drink. There aren't easy answers in this situation, but he'll share what he's learned, even in in the likely case that it won't help.]
The guy I killed -- it's a long story, and if I didn't do it if lots of other people would've died. It's sometimes necessary. [He taps two fingers against his own neck, the same place as Stephen's scar.] In self-defense, or others' defense.
But I was so angry. It came to that, and I couldn't -- I didn't look at him when I did it. I couldn't. But I remembered what it felt like to kill him, and it made me sick.
[He tries to shrug off the tension with a little hint of a laugh.] So I got wasted. The next day, I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Meditated, then tried to keep busy. To help people, maybe... prove to myself I wasn't a bad person.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2015-01-02 05:17 am (UTC)The guy I killed -- it's a long story, and if I didn't do it if lots of other people would've died. It's sometimes necessary. [He taps two fingers against his own neck, the same place as Stephen's scar.] In self-defense, or others' defense.
But I was so angry. It came to that, and I couldn't -- I didn't look at him when I did it. I couldn't. But I remembered what it felt like to kill him, and it made me sick.
[He tries to shrug off the tension with a little hint of a laugh.] So I got wasted. The next day, I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Meditated, then tried to keep busy. To help people, maybe... prove to myself I wasn't a bad person.